is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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