...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
