Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
why is half of my head shaved?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
