It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
