I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
