like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I should be sponsored by Trojan
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I currently don't understand fingers.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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