hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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