Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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