the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
