do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
