well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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