was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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