i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
