Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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