M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
