We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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