wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize