don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
