My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize