onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
