Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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