What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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