remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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