do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
