thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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