I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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