Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
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