It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
