I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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