I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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