Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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