sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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