Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
