i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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