how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
