God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i think i just lost a toe
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
