Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
