what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
