Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
