All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
