I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
third nipple confirmed
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
