Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
