Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
