Got a toothbrush?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
my poor anus
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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