So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
