Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
