pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
