Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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