And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
