at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
