In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
