I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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