We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
