Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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