What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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