people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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