okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
