Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
