i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
