She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i drank out of a bidet.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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