WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
