A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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