She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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