I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize