you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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