I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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