I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize