You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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