I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
