none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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