stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
