do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
