So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
