Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
