Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize