Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
