I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
