Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
