I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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