have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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