The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just want nice things and good sex
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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