no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize