I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
