This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
