He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
