dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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