After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
