Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
